Dear Kami, there's TWO of them!
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Anko Mitarashi, Dango Otaku of the T and I corps, has an identical twin sister named Mochi. Or as her BINGO book listing says...Mochi the Kidnapper. In order to repay the woman who saved her life, she kidnaps Naruto. How will the Hidden Village of Redpool change how Jinchuriki are treated? Will Mochi be able to change the shape of things to come?
1. Chapter 1

It was the worst tragedy in Konoha history. The Kyuubi, which had safely been contained in Kushina Uzumaki, had been released by an unknown assailant. It went on a rampage and was only stopped by the brave sacrifice of the recently instated Fourth Hokage, Minato Namikaze.

But this isn't about the sacrifice of the Fourth and his wife. Nor is it truly about their precious son Naruto, who was used as the container for the Fox and it's dark chakra.

No, this story is about a pair of twins that would shape the world. And their names...were Anko and Mochi Mitarashi, or as their parents affectionately called them before being killed by the Fox, the Dango twins.

Two years before the fox attacked Konoha, Orochimaru was revealed to be a traitor and fled. But not before condemning his apprentice (and her sister by extension) to the dark rumor mongers of the village. Anko had often switched places with her twin, and Orochimaru never once saw through the deception.

Only one chunin could ever tell the two apart, and her name was Kushina. It was through her efforts that neither of the twins died by their own hand. She even took Mochi on as an apprentice.

But now, we must get back to the real story.

Mochi could barely see past her tears. Her sempai and favorite teacher was dead. Dead because someone was idiotic enough to unleash the thing she kept sealed inside of her. Oh yes, Mochi knew that Kushina had the Kyuubi, but after she saved her and Anko, she just didn't care.

So to repay that debt, she would take in Kushina's son.

When she entered the room, it took a good split second to realize _what_ she was seeing before she killed the nurse in a fit of rage. The woman charged with insuring baby Naruto was alright after the sealing process...was trying to _smother_ the boy instead!

Someone must have blabbed about his status. Despite Minato's intention, there was little chance Naruto would ever be treated right by the villagers after the Kyuubi had attacked. She had seen how they reacted to her, thinking she was Anko. She would never allow Naruto to go through that pain.

She grabbed him and fled to the seal portal that Kushina had shown her once, when she learned she was pregnant. She trusted Mochi enough to key her into the seal wards around it.

Before the Hokage or the ANBU could learn what she had done, she activated the seal and vanished.

It would take an entire day before anyone realized that Naruto was missing, and a week for someone to finally investigate where he had gone. Only Anko knew where the brat was, and she wasn't talking.

* * *

Daichi and Shizuka Uzumaki held their grandson in sadness. While they were grateful Mochi had enough sense to take him to where he would be loved, they were saddened that it had come to the point where Mochi had to kidnap him in order to save him.

Kushina had been so excited to learn she was pregnant with her first child. But now she would never have a chance to hold her son.

Mochi was planning to return to the village, but Shizuka stopped her.

"You might as well stay a while, at least until the uproar dies down. I'll lend you a hawk so you can send your sister word of where you've gone."

Mochi nodded. If she appeared now after kidnapping Naruto, she might well be labeled a traitor and forced to reveal his location. Besides, her bond with Anko was strong enough to let her sister know she was safe.

* * *

For the next three years, she stayed in the secret village which contained all that was left of the Whirlpool shinobi. After the Mizukage tried to destroy the village, the Uzumaki clan managed to save most of the shinobi forces and a good portion of the civilians with a seal that was still in the prototype stages. Those that died were remembered for their courageous actions.

In an effort to protect the survivors, the Uzumaki clan had sent Kushina and a number of their shinobi forces to Konoha to promote a peaceful treaty. Every so often they would exchange genin and chunin to strengthen their forces.

Mochi was one of the chunin selected for that exchange, while Anko remained in the Leaf. Officially, Mochi was a Leaf jounin, but in reality she was a Whirlpool Special Jounin.

The civilians who tried to live outside the village had started to mysteriously die off by shinobi hands, which was why the new Hidden Village had stopped sending shinobi out. After Kushina's death, they had stopped communicating altogether. Only select merchants were allowed in and out, and even they had seals that made it impossible for them to speak of where the village was.

When Naruto was four, Mochi took him on a special trip to Konoha, with his grandparents blessing. No one would know who they were, or that Naruto was the Kyuubi jinchuriki.

* * *

Sarutobi sighed heavily. Four years ago, he had been forced to retake the position of Hokage, and had learned that mere hours before that, Naruto was kidnapped. The nurse in charge had been murdered by a precisely thrown kunai, and the kidnapper had successfully left the village without a trace. The most he could hope for was they hadn't killed the boy.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door.

"Sir, there's a Redpool delegate here to see you."

Interest perked, Sarutobi allowed them in. Redpool was the name the Whirlpool village had taken in an effort to protect their village from annihilation.

The woman who walked in had him staring, but it was the child beside her that made his heart stop. The blond hair and blue eyes that haunted him every day since Naruto was taken...was staring right at him.

"Redpool Special Jounin delegate Mochi Mitarashi, reporting. Say hi brat," said Mochi.

"Hi Oya-jii!" chirped the happy blond.

"Mochi, what is the meaning of this?"

"You think I didn't know about _her_ son? Give me some credit! I did what you failed to do, which was protect Kushina's child!" said Mochi offended.

"Do you have any idea of what you've done? All the trouble I went through?" he growled.

"Blame whoever leaked his status out. That nurse was trying to smother him when I got there! I know how the village would have reacted old man."

He conceded her point. It took them two hours to learn someone had leaked the name of the newest container of the fox, and considering the timing...

"Where has he been?"

"Kushina keyed my blood into the Redpool wards a week after she learned of the pregnancy. They took me in once I brought Naruto to them."

"Change of status?"

"Special Jounin now, and they've elected me as the new delegate for the village. Mostly because thanks to Anko, no one would realize I knew where the village was."

Sarutobi leaned back in his chair, feeling as though years had fallen off of him. Naruto was safer in Redpool than he was in the Leaf, and he knew it. Beside, Redpool was exclusively loyal to Konoha because of the treaty.

"Mochi-nee-chan, can I go play?"

"Sure brat. Remember, your name is Naru, got it?"

Naruto nodded. Mochi had explained clearly that in Leaf, the name Naruto would be met with anger and bring more trouble than it was worth. However, most people called him Naru-kun anyway, so it wasn't too bad.

* * *

Naruto ran to the park, where a boy and his older brother were playing. He walked up to them and said "Hi! I'm Naru, wanna play?"

Itachi stared at the blond kid, who he had never seen before. Sasuke had no reservations as he grabbed the ball and tossed it to Naruto. An hour later his older sister showed up, and Itachi was really sweating.

Anko Mitarashi was his sister?

"Having fun brat?" she asked cheerfully.

"You bet Nee-san!"

"You can keep on playing for another two hours, then we'll go out for ramen later."

"Ramen~! Can Sasuke-kun and Itachi-san come too?"

"Meh, if they want."

Sasuke gave his older brother the dreaded puppy dog eyes, and Itachi winced. His little brother had clearly hit it off with the blond.

"Fine."

"YAY!"

Fifteen minutes later a few other children came to play, and Naruto really had fun. Mochi grinned as her little brother played with the kids. There really weren't that many children his age to play with in Redpool. Most of the kids were at least eight to ten, and they were too busy learning to be shinobi.

Mochi ended up paying for three other kids and their watchers. Only Itachi was brave enough to sit next to her though.

"Who is that boy?"

"The son of the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero. We are a special delegate of the Redpool village renewing the old treaty."

Itachi decided to look into the treaty the second he had a chance.

* * *

Before Mochi left the village, they crashed at her sister's apartment making a mess of the window. The look on Anko's face (and the horrified one on Kurenai's, her roommate) made the entire thing worth it. Especially when Kuranai realize that no, it wasn't a shadow clone bent on making her life an absolute hell.

"MOCHI!" squealed Anko, tackling her sister. Naruto promptly dislodged himself from her back to great Kuranai properly.

It took a good ten seconds for Kuranai to leave the sight of TWO Anko to return his greeting.

"Heya Sis! Miss me?"

"Hell yes! This village is boring without you! Plus I miss the looks people gave when they realized you weren't a clone!"

Mochi grinned evilly. And gave her best imitation of Gai as she said "Then we shall hit the dango stands and bars! If not, then I shall have to stick around for a week to give Ibiki a heart attack! Yosh!"

Anko clapped her hands in evil glee, and the two went to terrorize the village. Kuranai realized with horror she had been drafted into being a babysitter for the kid without even saying a word in edgewise.

Fortunately the kid was very sleepy, so she quietly got drunk and then let the kid curl up next to her on the couch.

* * *

By the time Mochi and Naruto went home, they had accomplished three things.

One, they had left a large amount of dango stands and shinobi crying into their sake cups until they had the sense to see a medic nin who specialized in psychological trauma.

Two, they had renewed the hidden treaty between Redpool and Konoha, which meant there would be a secret influx of shinobi in the next few years between villages.

Three, they had left a wave of pranks that would take _months_ to clean up after. Though the Hokage did like the one where they painted the Hokage mountain in almost living color. It would remain that way until the next rain storm, to the disappointment of the villagers.

* * *

**Naruto, age eight**

"Got your weapons ready?"

"Hai, Nee-chan!"

"Scrolls sealed up properly?"

"Yup!"

"Remember how to break people psychologically?"

"YUP!"

Mochi was far too much like her sister in some aspects. She had taught him (to the horror of the Uzumaki elders) how to torture someone until they crack without leaving evidence behind.

Today would be the first day of the Academy. In accordance with the treaty, Naruto would attend Konoha Academy until he reached genin. Then they would decide whether he would return to Redpool and join their ranks instead.

There was already an influx of new students from the village, and the Konoha elders were none the wiser.

Only the Hokage knew about the treaty and the village of Redpool. Well...the Hokage and Itachi. Concerned about Mochi, he had asked about the treaty. Since it wasn't really an S-class secret, he allowed it.

Naruto cheerfully went with Mochi to the registration desk. Officially, Mochi was his guardian.

Unofficially she was the contact. While Naruto went to school and bunked with Anko and Kuranai, Mochi would go to the other villages and try to find who was killing off the Redpool villagers that were hidden in them.

Her secondary mission was to rescue any sane people from Kiri who had kekkei genkai. Jiraiya had mentioned the extermination, and, eager to spite Kiri, the Redpool village was more than happy to take them in.

The Hokage didn't have a problem with that, as long as the elders didn't discover that they were a way station to the village.

"Yo! Sasuke!" yelled Naruto.

"Naru-kun!" said Sasuke in relief. When he heard about the new transfer student, he had dreaded the idea of a new fan girl. Naru was a welcome surprise.

To the annoyance of his growing fan base, Sasuke cheerfully gave Naruto the only chair next to him. He had learned the hard way to sit on the outside of the desks, which made it harder for fangirls to gang up on him.

"Everyone, this is Naru Uzumaki. He is part of the exchange program from outside the village. So be nice!" said Iruka.

In order to keep Naruto safe, Mochi expanded on her little ruse involving his name. So long as the village believed his name was Naru, they would leave him alone. The only ones who knew of his true identity were the Hokage, Mochi, Anko and Kakashi.

Kakashi only figured out who the boy was because of the strong resemblance to his former sensei, and even then he had to be sworn into secrecy.

Mochi wasn't going to chance her brother's safety just because someone wanted to brag.

In less than a day, Naruto had developed his own fan club. Unlike Sasuke, they learned to keep their distance. Mostly because thanks to Mochi's training he had a quick aim with senbon.

The girls learned pretty quick that sneaking up to him or crowding him usually lead to a senbon in a sensitive part of the anatomy which varied with where they were positioned.

After that Sasuke decided to ask Mochi how to throw them as well. The girls were getting very annoying. He had no idea he gave his brother nightmares of a male Anko running around the village.

* * *

Itachi was in a bad place. He had discovered that his father was planning to overthrow the Hokage. Which was probably why he didn't even notice the infamous Mochi coming up from behind.

"Yo."

"Not now Mochi."

"...How did you know it was me?"

"You sister is a bit more flamboyant."

"Damn. Knew I forgot something. I heard from the Hokage about your father. Anything I can do to help?"

Itachi thought long and hard, and the only thing that came to mind was...

"Kidnap my little brother for me?"

Normally, a request like that would make people stare, but then again Mochi never claimed to be normal.

"What time?"

Itachi decided that it was time to make someone else's day worse.

"During Academy classes. Might as well scare Iruka."

"What he do to you?"

"He keeps telling Sasuke that he isn't allowed to use senbon on his fan club, even though Naru does it all the time."

Mochi grinned. Naru had complained repeatedly that Iruka kept taking away his senbon. Time for a little payback!

"Deal. It alright if I send him to the Village for some real training?"

"He'll need it. The civilian council has all but ruined the last three batches of genin."

"Ain't that the truth..." muttered Mochi. After learning how much the Civilian council had cut back at the Academy, they had started to only send Chunin level shinobi into the ranks. They didn't want their people to become weak because a bunch of tree huggers ruined things.

While they were talking, someone overheard their plans.

After Mochi went to make the preparations (namely informing the Hokage that a new potential would be moved tomorrow) Itachi killed his best friend before he could blow his cover.


	2. Chapter 2

"MWAHAHAHA! THE INFAMOUS KIDNAPPER IS HERE!"

Smoke filled the room while Naru started grinning like a fox. Looked like he'd have more friends to play with back home.

When Iruka finally cleared it out (by breaking a window with a kunai) it took them a good ten minutes to figure out who was the target.

"GET BACK HERE!" shouted the other teacher through the window. Insane cackling met that cry as the kidnapper vanished without a trace.

Sasuke stared at the crazy lady and said "Who put you up to this?"

"Itachi. He was going to do something tomorrow and didn't want you to get caught in the crossfire."

"...Is he finally coming out of the closet?"

Mochi started cackling even more at that bit.

"Sadly, no. Though I understand where you are coming from. You know how your dad and the other Uchiha act like they have a long serrated kunai stuck up their ass all the time?"

"The I'm-better-than-everyone-so-bow-down-to-me vibe? Yeah, why?"

Mochi stared for a second before grinning wider.

"That's the one. Your dad and the older Uchiha decided they know better than anyone else, and they were going to attack the Hokage in an effort to prove that. Itachi had orders to put a stop to it through any means possible. He wanted to make sure you weren't hurt during that."

"The Uchiha were going to hurt the Hokage? Why?"

"They seem to think that just because of their eyes they have a right to do whatever the hell they want. They need to see that actions have consequences."

Sasuke was more than happy to wander around Redpool with kids near his age.

* * *

Mochi stared at the devastation with shock. Itachi would never kill a child, no matter what the orders were. Something was wrong here. There had been no less than four children under ten who wouldn't have been involved in the plot, but someone had callously slitted their throats.

Anko walked up behind her in her ANBU mask.

"Something wrong?"

"I don't think Itachi was solely responsible for this. He doesn't kill children."

"...There were a few reports about a man with an orange mask, but no one confirmed it."

"Get someone to confirm it now! The Sharingan was reported at almost every death of the Whirlpool survivors! This might be the lead we need to find this guy!" said Mochi angrily.

The Bear mask ANBU ran. Later it was confirmed that a second Sharingan user was at the scene, and that he was solely responsible for the deaths of anyone under fourteen. Itachi had focused only on adults and anyone with chunin rank. He had deliberately avoided children and the younger genin.

However, the deaths of the younger ones didn't look like his style at all. They were far too vindictive, and Itachi was known for the fact he liked children. He even helped train a few.

Itachi was still called a traitor because no one knew about the plot against the Hokage...except the Hokage himself and a select few.

As a result, people were looking everywhere for the last 'loyal' Uchiha.

Mochi pretended to be her sister as she calmly dropped false trails that lead far from Redpool and towards a certain former ANBU captain.

She did not feel any sympathy towards what she unleashed on Kakashi. The fact that he hadn't considered looking for her after Naruto went missing told her volumes.

A month later, Sasuke reappeared at a favorite playground with Mochi wearing her ANBU mask. Her sister was a bird type mask, but her mask was a Wolf.

Since he was clearly being watched by a trusted ANBU member, no one tried to mob him.

She went directly to the Hokage and told him in no uncertain terms Sasuke was being selected for the Redpool genin program. Since it _was_ an exchange program, they could claim that Naru would take Sasuke's place at the school.

It took years for the uproar over that to die down, and to her relief, no one bothered to really push the issue aside from the crotchety elders who were indirectly responsible for the mess in the first place. Since they weren't keyed into the seal wards, they couldn't retrieve the boy. And no sane person wanted to piss off Anko.

* * *

It was after a successful relocation of Whirlpool civilians and a small group of kekkei genkai users from Kiri that Mochi returned to the village. As far as the Chunin on duty knew, it was the Wolf ANBU returning from a mission.

Officially Mochi was on permanent loan from the Redpool village, under the office of the Hokage. Which meant the elders couldn't touch her without hard proof.

As she was passing the Hyuuga compound, she heard the distinct sound of crying. Since she was in uniform, she did a quick henge and looked around the corner.

Hiashi Hyuuga was beating his daughter, because there was no way that was training. Seems she would have to announce her return with a bang. Spotting the one person who actually _noticed_ her there, she decided to kidnap two for a change.

* * *

Mochi broke into the Academy, set off plenty of harmless flash bangs outside, and in all the confusion, grabbed Neji and Hinata. Convincing the brats to stay quiet and watch the show was easy enough.

Neji apparently became obsessed with fate after receiving the seal on his head, and all she had to do to keep him quiet was tell him that the place she was taking was full of Seal Masters. Surely one of them would know how to undo the seal on him.

Hinata had never liked the sealing process, so she was all for it.

Hiashi was foaming at the mouth with rage. The Hokage was more amused than anything, since every time Mochi kidnapped someone, they got a new seal or genjutsu master in exchange.

Hiashi dropped the note someone had kindly left him, and the Hokage had to hide his amusement. Mochi was blunt as always when it came to children and keeping them safe. It was the whole reason why she wasn't going to kill Itachi on sight.

She wanted to know who killed all those children of his clan. If she ever came across the one who did that, she would...show...her displeasure in the most violent way possible.

_'To the Hyuuga clan head,_

_Next time you want to abuse your daughter in the guise of training, make sure there isn't someone who knows the signs around. Clearly you need a class in parenting. Oh, and I'll be taking your nephew too. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would be happy to remove that horrible tattoo on his forehead, since you people are cruel enough to place those on three year olds. Enjoy the high blood pressure, you damn creep!'_

Several of the Branch family had been chosen to live in the Redpool village, and even when the exchange period was over with, they had never come back.

The one person who _had_ returned was nearly arrested by the ANBU for killing several of the Main branch. Someone in the Redpool village apparently knew the counter seal, or had created one, because the ones who had died did so while activating it. The branch member had taken advantage of the distraction to throw a kunai to the head.

It was a bigger hit to the clan than the death of Hiashi's twin brother by Kumo.

* * *

Neji stared at the man before him. Mochi told him the place they were going was far, far away from his uncle, yet here he was. At least, that was what he thought for the scant two seconds for him to undo the headband...revealing the Caged Bird tattoo.

"D...Dad?"

"Uncle Hizashi?" said Hinata in confusion.

"Did I forget to mention that I faked his death and killed the people from Kumo?" said Mochi innocently, cleaning her nails.

"A fact I was more than happy to help with. Even if it meant I could no longer return to Konoha without a henge."

Neji lost all semblance of the Hyuuga clan frost and tackled his father in a hug. Hinata wasn't far behind, because he had actually kept her father from beating her before his 'death'.

"I can leave these two in your hands, right Hizashi?"

"Of course. Ever since you freed us from that annoying seal, we have kept the true spirit of this village alive. A fact we can never truly repay you for."

"You should thank Kushina. If it hadn't been for her intervention, none of us would be here."

Hizashi nodded to her comment. It only meant that they would be making a side trip to the shrine the Uzumaki clan raised in Kushina's honor. She was considered the guardian spirit of the village, and their greatest heroine.

* * *

The Aburame clan was given a special mission. Find and capture the infamous kidnapper. There was just one problem.

She used seal arrays to get from one point to the other, and the chakra signature was always masked by at least four others.

It all came to a head when the heir of the clan itself, Shino, was taken while on his way to the Academy.

Shibi went to complain to the Hokage and mention that they still didn't have any luck finding the kidnapper, when they found out something rather disconcerting.

The order to find and capture the infamous kidnapper never came from the Hokage. It came directly from the elders, specifically Danzo.

The investigation lead by Ibiki and Anko revealed that Danzo had never truly disbanded the ROOT project.

Mochi worked overtime retrieving the orphans. Quite a few of them were on the first stages of becoming emotionless drones. Fortunately, it only took a few weeks of being in Naruto's care to break that. The ball of energy was like a force of nature. You could either go with the flow or be blown over.

(In the more extreme cases, they were blown over within months.)

With the removal of Danzo and Homura, things really started to change in the Academy. Within a year, several girls had been kicked out. Shortly after, a few boys joined them. Several classes which had been taken out to make the Academy more civilian friendly were brought back, to the relief of the parents.

Mochi also brought a placement exam for those who flunked out. Those who couldn't cut it in the Academy were put into apprenticeships around the village.

In an effort to create more shinobi who could survive on the battlefield, he started fielding D-ranks through the Academy. Several more girls dropped from the course, deciding they would rather join the ranks of the other fan girls.

And for the first time in nearly ten years, the genin who graduated lived to see their first B-rank mission. It was a welcome change.

* * *

Mochi stared at her charges with pride.

Hinata, Neji, Shino, Sasuke, Naruto, Chouji and Shikamaru (who was actually kidnapped on his mother's request and he was a bit more active because of it) all stood there with grins.

Hinata and Neji had changed thanks to the training of Hizashi. While Hiashi nearly abused his daughter in the guise of training, Hizashi corrected her gently and helped her come into her own style based off the Gentle Fist.

Neji had long since lost most of his obsession with fate, since he seemed to think Mochi was Fate's messenger. Because of having the seal removed, he got along better with Hinata and saw her more as a sister than a charge.

Shino was no longer the social outcast, having found friends who didn't find his bugs creepy. He even added to his hive with help from the Village, which really made his day.

Sasuke was more interested in finding his brother and helping Mochi find the real reason for the Uchiha clan massacre. Someone or something caused his father and the clan elders to lose what little semblance of loyalty they had, and he was determined to find out what. He still loved his brother, who had at least kept him from stumbling onto the scene.

Chouji was still a bit chubby, but he had at least learned how to cook for himself, which meant he didn't look as heavy as his clan. He was happy to have friends like Naruto and Neji, who saw past his big exterior.

Shikamaru had lost some of his laziness, but his mind had been sharpened to a point. His strategies were used often by people in the field, so he learned to improvise as needed.

Naruto was glad with how his life had turned out. Because of Mochi, he learned what it was like to have a family and real friends. He never knew the pain of being looked down upon by an entire village, or being blamed for something that he had no power over. Konoha was entirely ignorant of the fact that the Kyuubi container walked among them. They may have known his name, but they never had a chance to see what he looked like.

Today was the day that the genin graduated. They had studied for a week straight so that they would pass.

They had already earned their Entrance seals so that they could teleport to the Village whenever they wanted. It was a mark of pride for a child to earn that. It meant they were trusted enough to carry the secret of the village. It also marked that they had passed the test to take missions.

"Everyone ready?"

"Hai!"

"Got your ninja tools?"

Nods met her question.

"Got your scrolls?"

Everyone nodded again.

"Your books on torture and medical techniques?"

They all grinned.

"How about your summon scrolls?"

They all held up a different scroll. Redpool was infamous for having the most seal masters, genjutsu users and for having the most summon scrolls in existence. Children were allowed to sign their name on any scroll which suited them. Tests were given at a young age to see which would work and what wouldn't.

Naruto had foxes and toads. Sasuke had a nekomata contract. Shikamaru had a rare prehistoric shark contract. Shino had found a contract for beetles. Chouji had a boar one. Neji had a large bat contract. But it was Hinata which had surprised everyone.

Hinata had been selected to carry the same summons as Kushina Uzumaki. It was a rare honor, because Kushina had been the one to carry the rare yokai contract. She could summon any youkai she put her mind to, provided they agreed to it.

Because of her status as the carrier of the Nine tailed fox, she rarely used it. It had been inactive all this time after her death.

"You all remember the hand signs?"

They nodded.

"Right. Everyone line up to the array, and I'll take you to the exam. For those of you with active clans, your parents or guardians are waiting for you at the Academy. Hinata, Neji, Hiashi has become...indisposed...so he won't make it in time. If any elders bother you, beat the crap out of them!" she said cheerfully.

Neji and Hinata shared a look, then they stared at Chouji. Mochi had spent and hour talking to him the night before, so they felt he had something to do with it.

Chouji shifted uncomfortably before saying "He'll be worshiping the porcelain throne for the rest of the day."

The cousins grinned as they said "Couldn't have happened to a _nicer _person."

Chouji beamed at them, relieved they didn't hold it against him. Say what you will about the Akimichi clan, while they are bigger than most in Konoha, they know their poisons. Particularly food based.

More than one assassination mission carried an Akimichi approved poison.

Naruto got them all laughing by chanting "Diarrhea cha-cha-cha, diarrhea cha-cha-cha..."

It was only after they could contain their giggles that they teleported to the outside of the Academy.

* * *

Mizuki did not like Naru Uzumaki. The brat was a prankster who annoyed him. There was something about the kid that drew people to him, but he had far too much chakra to be normal.

He had long since figured out that Naru Uzumaki's real name was Naru_to_ Uzumaki...which would make him the Nine Tailed Fox. It was for that reason he planned to fail the kid no matter how good he did.

Alas, Naru was Iruka's favorite student. While his theoretical grades weren't the best, his practical skills were second to none. The other teachers didn't like him as much, mostly because he usually pranked them within an inch of their life. Naru didn't like it when people treated others different because of how they were born.

Naru had been told when he was eight that he had the fox inside of him, but that didn't give him the right to act better than anyone else. Mochi had kept him thoroughly grounded when he was growning up, so he wouldn't end up with an Uchiha-sized ego.

Once Sasuke moved to Redpool, she kept him from ending up like every Uchiha she had met aside from Itachi.

Naru walked into the room with a Fox-style grin, which only convinced Mizuki that he was the fox.

"You have to perform a henge of either me or Mizuki and a clone. What type of clone is optional, but you have to make at least three."

Naru grinned even wider and turned into Iruka. Then he shocked him by performing the Shadow clone instead of a regular one. Shino had passed this part by using a Bug clone variant.

"Well done Naru!" beamed Iruka.

"Thanks Iruka-sensei! By the way, Mochi-nee-chan wants to know if you're available tomorrow night?"

Iruka looked at the boy with a deadpan look.

"Naru, please for the love of kami tell me you aren't setting me up on a date with Anko."

"Of course not! She keeps up Mochi's kidnapper joke with all the bishounen boys! Mochi is her twin sister!"

Mizuki blanched. Anko had more than once kidnapped him because of his looks. Iruka was safe solely because someone else was interested in him.

It seemed his time had come.

"What is Mochi like?" he asked finally.

"She's like Anko-nee-chan, but she likes ramen as much as I do! She also hates the fact that people look down on them because of some Snake creep!"

"...Fine. But if you're setting me up for Anko I am going to prank you within an inch of your life."

"Deal!"


	3. Chapter 3

Iruka waited by Ichiraku for his date. Naru hadn't been very descriptive and he really had the feeling that the whole thing was a set up for him to date Anko. When his date arrived, that suspicion doubled...until she spoke.

The second he heard that voice, he gaped.

"I don't believe this. The kid set me up with my arch enemy?" he said, wanting to bang his head on the table.

Naru had set him up with Mochi the Kidnapper, and bane of his teaching career.

Mochi grinned when she saw Iruka. Naru had set her up on a date, but had neglected to mention _who_ it was with. Trust her little brother to set her up with the guy she had her eye on.

"So he got you too, huh?"

"He had to set me up with my arch enemy. I am going to get him for this..." said Iruka back.

"Oh? Didn't know I ranked Arch Enemy!" she chirped.

"Do you have any idea of the paperwork I have to do after your kidnapping stunts?"

"Do you know _why_ I kidnap them to begin with?" she countered.

Iruka looked at her. Really looked at her.

"Why?"

"Have you ever heard the saying 'it takes a village to raise a child'?"

Iruka nodded.

"Well when it comes to exceptional children, this village sucks at raising them. Take Itachi. The kid could have been a valuable asset to the village, yet the elders ruined that making the Uchiha believe they were better than everyone. And Naru would have been ostracized because of who he is. Little Sasuke would have become an avenger if I hadn't taken him."

Iruka paused and thought about it. With the way the village acted around Uchiha, she had a valid point. Sasuke would have been pitied and treated like a prince when he wanted to be a shinobi. And Hinata had come in with bruises more than once because of her father.

He reluctantly decided to bury the hatchet.

"How about we start fresh then? I'm Umino Iruka."

"Mochi Mitarashi. Anko is my sister."

Iruka's eyes widened. The expected mutter came and she grinned.

"_Dear kami, there's two of them..."_

After that, Iruka had a rather pleasant time talking to her. He found out the real reason why no one knew about her, and why she was so fiercely protective of Naru.

To find out that Naru's real name was Naru_to_, as in the container for the same demon who killed his parents, was a bit of a shock. However Iruka had been around Naru for so long, and considered him a younger brother, that he had great difficulty seeing him as the Fox.

Hearing that out loud caused Mochi to beam at him and add another cheek for the 'boyfriend material' list she had.

By the end of the evening, Mochi had returned to the apartment with a grin on her face...and a second date.

Only for things to take a strange turn the next night.

Mizuki tried to break Naru by telling him about the fox after having him steal a forbidden scroll...only for Naruto to kick the man's ass with help from Hinata and Sasuke. The three made a formidable team when angered.

Something the Hokage took under consideration while making the genin teams.

* * *

"Okay everyone, it's time for the genin teams! Team six, you will be Ino Yamanaka, Chouji Akimichi and Shikamaru Nara. Chouji, no poisoning Ino, no matter _how_ much she yells at you."

"Team seven will be Hinata Hyuga, Sasuke Uchiha and Naru Uzumaki. Try not to prank your sensei _too _much, unless he's dumb enough to read that orange book Anko likes so much instead of actually training you. He will be late, so you may as well get some sleep in."

"Team eight is still in circulation, so Team nine will be Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame, and Sakura Haruno. Boys, you have full permission from the Hokage to whip her into shape, since the only reason she's still here is because her parents are both on the council and she barely passed the practicals. Have fun."

Hidden on the ceiling, watching the entire thing, Mochi barely repressed the urge to cackle evilly. Yet another mark for 'boyfriend material'.

* * *

Three hours later, Kakashi entered the room and tried not to grin at the team he got. Two shinobi who knew what they were doing and a kunoichi who wouldn't pull them down.

Thankfully they already got along and knew how to work as a unit, they only issue being whether they figured out the genin test in time.

"Alright kiddies, Likes, dislikes and dreams. Let's start with the girl."

"Hinata Hyuga. I like animals, books and (she blushes looking at Naru). I dislike people who abuse others, people who judge you before they bother to know you, and anyone who believes they are better than everyone because of their birth. My dream is to be like my idol Kushina Uzumaki."

Kakashi looked at Naru.

"Naru Uzumaki! I like ramen, foxes, toads, pranks and reading! I dislike people who judge you for something you can't control and the time it takes for ramen to be ready! My dream is to be like the Yellow Flash!"

Kakashi hid a grin at that, since Naruto _was_ the son of the Yellow Flash.

"Sasuke Uchiha. I like fire, pranks and seals. I dislike people who act like the Uchiha clan walks on water without chakra, idiots, fan girls and getting caught. My dream is to find out who was really behind the massacre and join Mochi in teaching them a lesson on killing innocent children."

Kakashi felt some measure of relief. While the avenger aspect wasn't too shocking, he was glad the kid didn't have a kunai lodged in his ass. He would have to thank Mochi for that, since he still owed Obito for his eye.

"Training ground 7, 9:00. Don't eat breakfast unless you want to puke!"

Naru grinned at his team.

"Dinner at Chouji's place?"

The other two grinned and joined him. Years of working with Mochi and Anko had broken Hinata's stuttering problem and put her on the fast track to being a real kunoichi.

* * *

Naru walked with his team to the training ground around eleven, despite being told to come at nine. Mochi had been very descriptive of his father's old genin team, including telling him mission reports during the Iwa war for stories.

Since most genin don't really pay attention to history, Redpool had devised a new way of telling it. They would first tell what happened, then have the students listen to the mission reports from that time and write an essay on what they did wrong, what they could have done to avoid it, and how they could improve on it.

It was easily Naru's favorite class, next to summoning and sealing.

The Hokage still didn't know _why_ Redpool wanted copies of all unclassified missions since the village was formed. Then again, he never asked the right way.

Sasuke was reading an intermediate book on seals, Hinata was working on her taijutsu, and Naruto was playing poker with his clones.

An hour later, Kakashi arrived mildly impressed. All three of them had taken initiative to actually improve themselves instead of sitting around waiting for him.

After giving the usual speech about the bells, all three vanished.

Naru found Sasuke first, and the two plotted on how to prank Kakashi. After that they found Hinata, and had her use the Byakugan just to be sure it was her.

Everyone in Redpool knew about the fox inside Naru, but unlike other villages, they considered them human rather than demon. They didn't treat him any different than the other children, aside from giving him a slightly more respectful greeting because he was Heir to the clan that ruled the village.

It didn't take long for Kakashi to realize that he was sorely outmatched.

Sasuke was a natural at fire seals, and he used them with abandon. It took him a bit to realize the boy was driving him somewhere, and curious as to what they were planning he let them.

Biggest mistake ever.

When the hour was up, Kakashi was covered in paint, feathers and, to his horror later, the scent of a female dog in heat.

But on the other hand, they successfully retrieved both bells. And displayed more teamwork than the usually genins had.

That didn't meant he wasn't twitching like mad though.

"I guess there is only one thing to say. Congrats, you pass. We'll hit the mission office tomorrow at eight."

"We'll be there after lunch then," said Naru shrugging.

Kakashi said nothing, but went home to get cleaned up.

Too bad another genin team was walking the Inuzuka dogs at the same time...

* * *

Kakashi was twitching, big time, when he finally went to make his report. Mochi was grinning the entire time.

"I take it they got you?" she grinned.

"Bite me."

"I would, but you're so not my type," she said back.

The Hokage coughed loudly. Kakashi turned to him, still twitching.

"Team Seven, pass."

Mochi sniffed, and grinned wider.

"They got you with the scent of a bitch in heat, didn't they?" she cackled.

"Anko, I don't see how it concerns you."

"BEEP! Wrong twin. For a supposed genius, you sure don't pick up on the obvious."

Kakashi looked at her closer, and held back a curse.

"Mochi. Do you have any idea how much grief you've sent my way?"

"What? Is it my fault that you were the best target for the mobs? It's not like you don't already have practice escaping from your fan club."

Kakashi glared at her.

The Hokage coughed.

"Very well. Teams 6,7, and 9 will be put into active duty. You can pick up the missions in the morning."

* * *

In response to the prank they played on their sensei, their first official mission was catching Tora. Sadly, his revenge didn't pan out the way he expected.

Naru had a way with animals, and Tora didn't scratch him like Kakashi hoped.

Hinata grinned at Kakashi, who was scowling behind his mask.

For the rest of the week, Kakashi tried his best to get back at his new team by putting them on the most humiliating missions he could find.

Alas, Naru was more chivalrous than Kakashi knew, because he always had his clones (Mochi noticed his trouble with the weaker jutsu, so she taught them their harder counterparts) do the work for them. Kakashi never noticed the fact that it wasn't Naru, Hinata and Sasuke.

* * *

"So how has your week been runt?" asked Mochi. They were eating at Ichiraku's.

"Kakashi is boring! He won't teach us anything! All he ever does is make us go on these dull missions! Tora was the only one that had any excitement."

Mochi winced. If Tora was the most excitement he got, then she clearly needed a talk with Kakashi.

"So what's this I hear about you not teaching the kiddies anything?" she asked Kakashi dangerously.

Kakashi gulped. This...would not end well.

Kakashi was twitching worse than the time his team pranked him. Mochi didn't tolerate such lax training. She was a big advocate of at least doing something every day.

It was mostly because of her that Shikamaru had lost a good portion of his laid back attitude. She didn't mind him cloud watching so long as he was at least reading a new jutsu scroll. It was a compromise they could both agree on.

"Okay team, once we catch Tora I'll teach you how to climb trees without your hands..."

Naru, Hinata and Sasuke all stared at him in amusement.

"Mochi got to you didn't she...?" said Sasuke.

"Yes, and no more shall be said of the matter."

"You do realize we have to at least learn water walking before we're allowed to leave Redpool, right?"

"...Can you tell me exactly what you three _do_ know then?"

"About time you finally asked!" they chorused.

Kakashi was left in shock at what they did actually know.

Redpool was very thorough in training their genin, and it showed. They were at least at the second level of chakra control, knew their elemental affinities, could hide their presence better than most Chunin and knew at least one mid level elemental jutsu. And best of all they knew taijutsu that suited their needs, rather than the half assed forms they showed at the academy.

Kakashi did a quick calculation on what he could still teach them, and hit paydirt.

"How about I teach you how to make summon scrolls?"

They gave him blank looks before running through a very familiar set of hand signs, bringing out a range of creatures.

Sasuke brought out a cream colored nekomata with black tipped tails, Hinata brough out an adorable kappa, and Naru brought out a small frog that sat on his head.

Kakashi stared in absolute shock. Then he did the only thing that could come to mind.

"Alright then... What do _you_ want to learn?" he asked finally.

The three grinned, and gave him their requests. Kakashi sweatdropped at that, but he knew he would have to step up his game in order to keep up with his genin. He could only wonder what the village would be like if they adopted a similar training program from Redpool.

He planned to discuss at length with Mochi about _what_ the kids already knew.

* * *

Kuranai and Asuma were in a state of shock, as a few of their genin were actually well ahead of the rest, and were actually putting their teammates through the paces. The most notable change was in Sakura Haruno, who learned the hard way that Shino and Kiba weren't going to let her hold them back during missions. She either had to step up, or get beaten up during sparring matches.

Her mother learned the hard way that any shrieking for the state of her daughter would land her on the pranking list. Her hair had already been dyed puke green twice, and for once Naru wasn't the culprit!

As a result of that knowledge, the Hokage was planning to borrow a few training methods from Redpool to enhance their own. Seals and Summoning classes stayed inside the village though.

It was something of a shock to the Elders that because of the children who were trained in Redpool, the newest batch of active genin were taking C Rank missions that were normally reserved for mid level chunin and coming back with some very positive reviews!

Things were relatively calm in the village. Genin chased Tora, old ladies chatted with each other, people were still unaware that Naru was really their missing Jinchuriki...

But when Kakashi went to ask for another C Rank, he ended up getting more than he bargained for.

They had to guard a bridge builder from Wave until their new bridge was finished. The most they could expect was bandits.

Naru and Sasuke agreed it would be interesting enough. Little did they know that they were in for a real fight...


	4. Chapter 4

It was halfway to Wave when they had a problem. Hinata was the first to spot the puddles. She was acutely aware of her surrounding partially because of her summons.

Hinata nodded towards the puddles, and Naru grinned. He threw two bundles of exploding tags into the puddles, and activated them.

A rain of blood and bone fell on the road, and Tazuna stared in shock.

Two bloodied Mist headbands fell to the ground, with bits of flesh and bone still on them.

"Would someone mind explaining why Naru just killed two Mist nin?" asked Kakashi casually.

"It hasn't rained in a week sensei," said Hinata. Sasuke picked up the two headbands and sealed them in a scroll. If they were Missing Nin, then they would all get a good bounty out of them.

Tazuna looked nervous, and that got Kakashi's attention.

"Would you know why there were two Mist nin this close to Konoha?"

And with that, he spilled everything...like the fact that the real issue was a man named Gato. Naru held back a curse.

"That does it. Hinata, we need a tengu. I don't think Kakashi would like me to get reinforcements the old fashioned way," said Naru.

Kakashi gave him a look.

"And how exactly would you get reinforcements?"

"I'd use the seal about ten feet that way and get some help. If this guy is as rich as Tazuna says he is, then chances are high that he can afford jounin level missing nin."

Kakashi weighed the options.

On one hand, they didn't know that those two really were after Tazuna since Naruto blew them up. On the other, Naru was exactly right when he said that more could be on their way. And if the seal really was that close...

"Fine, we'll take a break near the seal while Naru goes to get some extra help. Chances are that you killed some missing nin, so we can pay them with that."

"Actually I could just call in some favors," shrugged Naru.

Five minutes later, the party went ahead. Naru had brought back Hizashi and a few other chunins, so if there was another fight they wouldn't be so outclassed.

Though Hinata had to hold back her laughter when Kakashi stared at her Uncle like he was a ghost.

* * *

Hizashi and the chunin duo Naru had brought back went ahead, since there wasn't any room on the boat.

Naru was properly respectful towards the bridge builder...up until the point when Tazuna made fun of his height. Naru could care less about it, since his grandparents told him that his mother didn't reach her full height until she was in her teens.

Once they got off the boat, Naru and the others kept an eye on the surroundings. Since they were in a swampy territory, Naru sent out the toads to scout.

Gamakichi came back reporting that someone was waiting for them...and he wasn't friendly.

In less than a minute, Hizashi and the chunin had found the enemy nin...and had engaged in combat.

Kakashi got Tazuna to his house while the kids made sure he was safe.

* * *

Two hours later, Hizashi brought Kakashi back, exhausted.

"Overused his Sharingan. Idiot," said Hizashi.

"Says the ghost," said Kakashi.

Hizashi said nothing, just dropped him on his ass. Naru and the other genin snickered.

"I wonder how Hiashi would react if he knew his twin was still alive?" said Naru, snickering.

"Not my problem. I am legally _his_ daughter now," said Hinata. The Hokage had signed the papers which allowed Hizashi to adopt his niece since Hiashi was in trouble for child abuse. He was still free, but his ninja license had been revoked until he learned not to abuse his children.

So far, it was slow going.

"So who were those three you brought with you?" asked Tazuna.

"Uncle Hizashi, Chunin Nami and Chunin Robin," said Hinata.

"Mochi was out training the journeyman seal masters. Which reminds me, I need to set a seal in Wave just in case," said Naru.

"Hizashi said something about that on the way back..." said Kakashi. Robin had been able to keep him from completely passing out from chakra exhaustion.

"So who did you fight?" asked Sasuke.

"A missing nin known as Zabusa Momochi. A hunter nin came and took him away..."

"Wait, took him away? Hunter nins don't take their quarry away, they take care of the body where it falls!" said Naru.

Kakashi stared at Naru.

"How did you know that?"

The three genin stared at each other, before looking at him and saying in unison "Mochi."

"Mochi taught us about the different types of shinobi, and how to tell a fake," said Sasuke.

"She also taught us basic torture techniques and how to spot a lie from their body signals," said Naru.

"She also showed us how to hunt in the wild and how to cook any meat we found. Plus how to tell if a snake was poisonous or not."

Kakashi stared, as did Tazuna.

"How the hell can you tell if a snake is poisonous without a book?" asked Kakashi in disbelief.

"Mochi taught us to find a small animal and let the snake attack it. If it strikes with it's fangs and doesn't crush it with it's coils, then chances are good that it's poisonous," shrugged Naru.

Kakashi blinked. That...was actually good advice.

"So tomorrow we'll have to get you guys training..."

"I could always have Uncle Hizashi train us, since you're still recovering," said Hinata innocently.

Naru and the other already had a prank in mind for Hiashi when they got back. A simple henge and crashing the Hyuuga clan meetings, and they could cause mass pandemonium! Hizashi would probably get a real kick out of it.

* * *

Hizashi frowned when he got the report, but he didn't let it stop him from training the kids. Mochi had him help in their usual training games, since Hinata clearly had a thing for Naru.

When Naru realized something was wrong, he confronted him.

"Mochi went missing during the seal training exercise. All signs point to a backfire and there was a surge in the Forest, but we've had no sign of her."

"Mochi is gone?" said Naru in shock.

"We've double checked the seal, and there wasn't anything wrong with it and Jian is one of our most experienced seal journeymen. Some outside force might have interfered."

"Can you tell me if there's any word about her?" asked Naru.

"Of course. Normally we wouldn't tell a genin about this, but since the two of you are practically related it would be bad manners not to inform you. If we find her or hear anything, I'll let you know."

Naru calmed down. Hizashi was one of the few who didn't freak out about the Kyuubi being inside him, despite being a Konoha nin originally.

And with that, they went back to training.

Naru was half asleep when he sensed another person show up. Whoever it was had some shinobi training, enough to be at least chunin level. And thanks to the Kyuubi, Naru could always tell if someone was any good or had a bloodline that they were trying to hide.

In this case, it appeared the person coming up had an ice-type.

"You know it's kinda rude to interrupt someone else's nap," Naru said easily.

The 'boy' in front of him paused as if stung. He wasn't aware that Naru had sensed him that quickly or was awake.

"Sorry, didn't know you were awake."

"Half asleep. So who are you working for?"

The kid before him tensed, as if to reach for a weapon.

"Look, I'm just curious. I could care less, since I know Hizashi incapacitated that jounin nin that tried to attack Tazuna three days ago."

"I'm his apprentice. My name is Haku."

"Are you from Kiri by any chance?"

"Civilian Village a few miles off."

"Guess that's why you haven't heard about the rescue efforts for those with Kekkei Genkai," said Naru, yawning.

"Rescue efforts?"

"My village has been snagging large groups of kekkei genkai users and giving them sanctuary from the purge. Partly to add new blood, but mostly to royally piss off Kiri for destroying the old village."

"What village are you from?"

"I'm from what's left of the Whirlpool Village. If you want to learn more you would have to move to the new one, but I would have to take you there."

"Why?"

"It's covered in blood seals. No one can get in without being keyed into them, and anyone who attacks the seal would have thousands of shinobi after their ass."

Haku cocked 'his' head.

"Sounds interesting, but I doubt I could get Master Zabusa to go," Haku said sadly.

"Well if your still interested before we leave, I'm sure Hizashi could take you."

"Who is Hizashi?" Haku asked curious.

"A man who should have died six years ago after Kumo tried to kidnap his niece," said Naru grinning evilly.

"Why do I sense a backstory there?" Haku asked dryly.

"Not much of one, only a prank we're going to play on his pain in the ass twin brother. I can't wait to get that blackmail material on Mr. Stick-up-his-ass."

Haku grinned, and the two of them gathered herbs to heal Zabusa's wounds.

Naru at least held his tongue on how to reverse the effects of Hizashi's Gentle Fist technique.

"So the mystery Hunter nin is a Kekkei Genkai user as well. If we can convince Zabusa that he'll be welcomed at the village, we may very well net a rare bloodline," mused Hizashi.

"Any word on sis?"

"One of our seal masters may have a lead on what happened, but so far nothing."

Hizashi ruffled Naru's messy mop, and gave him a gentle shove towards Sasuke.

"Elemental jutsu until nightfall."

"Yes sir!"

Kakashi watched the interaction with interest. While he was supposed to be training these genin, the sad fact was Hizashi and the others knew what the kids needed to learn more than he did at the moment.

Needless to say, the minute this mission was over with he was going to have a long talk with Hizashi so he could train the boys properly. The fact that the Redpool genin were so far ahead of their own was somewhat embarrassing.

* * *

Haku stared at the frog which she had found an hour ago. Normally she would have thrown the thing out or cooked it...but this one talked.

And her lips quirked a bit because it kept asking for candy.

"What have you got there Haku?"

"A summon frog."

"Toad," said the 'frog' indignant.

"Sorry, toad."

"Who sent you?"

"Boss asked us to find the jounin who tried to attack them. Said he had a proposition for ya'll," said Gamakichi.

"What sort of proposition?" asked Zabusa. The Hyuga had not gone easy on him at all.

"Safe haven from the Mist and a chance to royally screw 'em over," replied Gamakichi.

Zabusa perked up at the sound of that.

"Keep talking."

"Boss is a special genin from Redpool, and they've been snatching up Kiri's Kekkei Genkai users since the purge started. So far they've rescued fifty clans and relocated ten more. Since it was the Mist who initially attacked Whirlpool, they decided it was the perfect payback."

Zabusa's nonexistent eyebrows raised up. He had heard stories about Whirlpool, but this was the first he heard of the Mist being the initial attacker. There were rumors someone was taking the bloodline users before the hunters could find them, but he had no idea it was true.

"What's in it for us?"

"You get to live without being known as a Missing nin, your apprentice can train her bloodline properly and even learn seals or earn a summon scroll, and you get to royally annoy the Mizukage."

"And the fact that I tried to kill the man?"

"Bonus."

Zabusa weighed his options.

On one hand, it would be nice to actually be able to live in a village and not worry about being hunted and killed. On the other, he was still under contract.

"Oh, and he really didn't think you would want to face a jinchuriki," said Gamakichi as an afterthought.

That got Zabusa's attention rather quick.

"Say that again?"

"He said he doubted you would want to attack a jinchuriki who knew how to unleash the demon inside of them."

"Oh hell no! You mean to say one of those brats has a demon?"

Gamakichi nodded.

"Send him a message. We'll show up on the bridge to keep up appearances, but we want out of this contract."

"Got ya!" said Gamakichi, poofing out of existence.

"What's a Jinchuriki?"

"Some unlucky bastard who had a bijuu sealed inside of him. Practically every village in the Great Five has at least one, though Konoha lost theirs. Kidnapped from what I heard. They must have gotten their hands on another."

Haku paled. She never wanted to face a demon...Zabusa when he was pissed was bad enough!

* * *

"_Summoning Jutsu!"_ Naru called out.

Gamakichi appeared, and he was pleased.

"They're in. They'll show up at the bridge to keep up appearances, but they won't work for him anymore."

Hizashi looked pleased.

"How did you convince them?"

"Told them that boss didn't think they would want to face a Jinchuriki who knew how to unleash their demon. That convinced them not to fight," said Gamakichi.

Hizashi frowned.

"Normally I would say that you shouldn't have revealed that, but in this case I'll overlook it. Especially with the rumors I heard about Gato," said Hizashi.

"What rumors?" asked Kakashi.

"Rumor has it that he doesn't pay the missing nin he hires if he can help it. Chances are that he'll bring some bandits to take us out and kill Tazuna."

"In that case, our odds went up. We've set up a seal near the bridge, just in case, so reinforcements are only a jutsu away."

Naru grinned. He had helped set up the seal to Redpool, since he was one of their best seal journeyman. He was close to earning his master mark.

"Now, since we might be expecting a fight with Gato, I want you to detain him while we hit his base, and get the information from his sources. If we kill him, we can leave one of our operatives in his place and help Wave get back on it's feet," said Hizashi.

Naru and the other cheered. This mission proved to be more fun than it had claimed to be!


	5. Chapter 5

Zabusa waited impatiently for the Konoha nin to show up. He had become very antsy when he realized it was going to take much longer than a week to undo the problem with his tenketsu. Haku was unlucky enough to play nursemaid, and already she had a roaring headache.

Naruto bounced onto the bridge, grinning. Kakashi was still worn out, but he could fight if need be.

"We want out," said Zabusa firmly.

Haku twitched, and felt the need to hit him with a senbon where the sun didn't shine. He had been getting on her last nerve for the past two hours.

"We can certainly arrange the transport. Need help carrying anything?" asked Hizashi, amused.

"I sealed everything in a scroll. Everything else is replaceable," said Haku, eager to avoid Zabusa.

"Said the brat who hid my sake stash," he growled.

"Master Zabusa, you are bad enough as a patient. The last thing I wanted to deal with was your hangover," she said flatly.

"Said the girl who lost half her kimono selection," he shot back.

"Touch it and I swear I send that sake to Lady Tsunade of the Sannin!" she growled.

The two glared at each other before looking away. Naru couldn't help his reaction to the scene.

He laughed his ass off.

Both of them glared at him, then at each other.

"Oh man that was hilarious!" cackled Naru.

What no one saw until _after_ his laughing fit was Gato walking up with a large group of mercenaries.

"So you think I'll allow you to break my contract? It's a good thing I already planned to kill you," he sneered.

"Your stupid contract only covered Jounin level protection. Under no circumstances would I protect a scumbag like you from a damn Jinchuriki. You can kiss my ass, Gato!" snapped Zabusa.

Gato sneered at him, and directed the mercenaries to attack the shinobi. There was just one tiny problem.

The genin weren't fans of waiting patiently. They had summoned their personal favorite animals, and they were eager to fight.

The kitsune Naru summoned was roughly the size of the average Fire Country tiger (which was bigger than most men and could eat them with little trouble). The Nekomata Sasuke had brought out was small...until the fire chakra it specialized in took effect and became taller than Kakashi. But the real kicker was Hinata's summon.

The Kappa she brought out was as tall as the bridge, and it was standing easily in the river...which was thirty feet deep.

The mercenaries took one look at those summons, then at Gato.

"I'm out," said the one closest to the shinobi.

"Screw this! No cash is worth getting eaten over!" said another.

Soon all but fifty of the bandits were gone. Naru snickered, because it was blatantly clear that those guys had some common sense.

"Mwahahaha! Prepare to feel the wrath of the Kidnapper's best students!" cackled Naruto.

In an instant, the remaining bandits paled.

"T-T-The Kidnapper?! Are you serious?!" stammered the youngest bandit.

Naru grinned evilly.

"Screw this! I ain't tangling with anyone trained by that psycho!" said the youngest bandit.

Gato didn't look happy. At _all._ Most of his forces had abandoned him, despite being paid half up front. Then the one bandit who had any shinobi training hears one name, and he leaves as well.

"Who is this Kidnapper?"

"The most insane Kunoichi to ever come out of Konohagakure. No one has ever seen her face, or know what she looks like. But the mere mention of her name is known to make people piss themselves," said Sasuke.

"She's crazy...and she holds no regard for human life. Crossing her is one of the worst things you can do," shuddered Nami.

Hearing the cackles of the genin, the bandits shuddered.

Soon the screams of the bandits were heard all the way to the village. Needless to say, the villagers shuddered at the sound of absolute humiliating pain.

* * *

Naru grinned as he deposited Gato to the Redpool T and I. They were some of the most sadistic, ruthless and downright evil people in the entire Fire country.

It was his favorite division, because they often used his pranks in creative ways to get information. (It was something of a nightmare that Naru wanted to go into the T and I division before he made Hokage. Even though he wasn't raised in Konoha, he could still get that position because he was technically one of their genin.)

"Fresh meat for the division! We need the full works!" Naru called out cheerfully.

"Whoot! Fresh meat boys! Gets the newbies and let's show them how to really get a rich boy to talk!" yelled out Niko.

The cheering from that announcement had Gato sweating. The citizens of Wave were all too happy to let Naru take Gato to the one place where his money wouldn't mean squat. In exchange, they would work with whoever Redpool sent in to take over Gato's operation.

Naru knew the only reason they let him take Gato away was because the T and I division would make Gato suffer for hurting Wave...and for Kaito.

* * *

"Ah Kakashi, how was the mission?" asked Sarutobi, taking a hit off his pipe.

"Turned A-rank. Had to call in reinforcements."

Sarutobi gave him a look.

"I didn't receive any requests or reports."

"Naru was the one to get reinforcements. Which reminds me, if you hear the Hyuuga screaming bloody murder, I had no prior knowledge of it..."

"Naru's planning a prank, isn't he?"

"One involving someone who should be a ghost."

"Who?"

"Double the trouble," was all Kakashi would say on the matter.

Sarutobi sighed. There was only one explanation for that comment.

Hizashi was coming back. He had read the report about the Kumo nin being killed on route to the village with Hizashi, and all reports claimed it was Kiri nin who did it.

What most people didn't know was that Mochi had been on the same road with some Mist kekkei genkai users on route to Redpool. Setting up Kiri for stealing the Byakugan would had been child's play.

At least they hadn't lost a valuable shinobi to such an overt set up.

Kakashi handed his report...and when the Hokage got to the point where they acquired two Missing nin, he looked at the man before him.

"Where are these two now?"

"Redpool. Easier to integrate them into Konoha if they go through them first," said Kakashi, as if repeating the words of someone else.

The Hokage nodded. Several Mist bloodlines had come in that way, and the Elders were none the wiser.

"So where is Naru and his team now?"

"Helping the seal masters investigate the spot where Mochi's chakra was last seen. Hizashi went with them to insure they didn't get in the way."

Just then one of the Redpool seal masters burst in.

"Hokage-sama! Hizashi and Team 7 have vanished! The residual seal from where Jounin Mitarashi went missing pulled them in!"

"What happened to the seal?"

"It's still there, but it seems to repeal anyone who touches it. We've tried everything, but nothing works. The only thing we can hope for is that Mochi finds them and manages to bring them home."

"Set up a patrol to watch that portal in case they come back. Naru is one of the best seal masters and Mochi was his teacher. If anyone can figure it out, it's them."

"Hai!"

* * *

Two weeks later Mochi returned with Team 7 and Hizashi, who looked rather smug. Clearly it wasn't as bad as they thought on the other side.

"Jounin Mitarashi, report."

"The other side is an alternate reality with only one key difference to this one."

"And that is?"

"I don't exist on the other side. Trust me old man, it wasn't that pleasant for those who have been affected by me."

"How bad was it?"

"Naru was the village pariah and hated by almost everyone, Sasuke was a little emo brat, Hinata had almost no self confidence and Hizashi actually died, turning Neji into a fate obsessed brat. And that was just the surface. From what I can tell, the other Konoha is one of the most depressing villages I have ever seen."

"It's good to have you back Jounin Mitarashi."

"I found the cause of my disappearance, and I was only allowed to return on the condition that I change things on the other side. I made a seal that allows me to go to and from freely between them. Just imagine the possibilities of two Konoha!"

The Hokage _could_ see the possibilities. Since they were essentially the same village, they could in theory double their missions on both sides, and the shear amount of power they could gain from an alliance.

"Which reminds me...I need a copy of out Academy classes. Danzo is still operating on the other side, and I'm trying to get rid of him solo. Their genin are pathetic!"

"Because of your intervention our genin are living longer," the Hokage reminded her.

"So do I have your permission to spread that seal?"

"Find a select team and give them the seal. I want to maximize that other side, and possibly help them when they need it."

Kakashi was unhappy to learn that his team once again jumped ahead of any schedule he set for them. He had wisely spent his time while they were missing looking up several elemental jutsu and jounin level jutsu so he could keep ahead of them.

As a side effect of training these genin, he had been horrified to discover that he had gotten soft after leaving the ANBU. He had started on the fast track of getting back to being at his best.

Some of the branch members of the Hyuuga were more than happy to deliver a beat down on Kak"ashi.

* * *

A week later he got the news that the Chunin exams were coming to Konoha. And that meant he could enter his team and really get back up to speed.

"I nominate Team 7 for the Chunin Exam."

Iruka, who had been silent to this point, protested loudly. Mochi leveled a glare at him.

"I can attest that those kids are ready. More than most of the other genin at any rate. If those kids can handle a fight against fifty bandits using only summons, then they can handle this test. Not too sure about the other rookies though."

Iruka looked uncertain, so when Mochi told him to test them to be sure...he came back looking like hell.

"I withdraw my objection...Owww..."

Mochi cackled. Naru and Sasuke took offense to the thought that they weren't ready for such an easy exam, and Hinata had worked him over good!

He really should have known better than to dress as a Kumo nin.

* * *

Naru happened to be playing with Konohamaru when he ran into Gaara. Since he had absolutely no fear of fellow Jinchuriki (even if the other clearly hadn't had a good night's rest in a long time) he held out his hand.

"Hi! I'm Naru!"

Gaara stared at the hand like it would bite him. No one had ever been so calm around him. Let alone held out a hand to shake.

"Why are you not afraid of me?"

"Because I can tell you're like me! But from the look in your eyes I think your seal isn't working properly. Don't you get any sleep?"

"I can never sleep..." said Gaara tonelessly.

"Would you like to?" asked Naru, curious.

Gaara gave him a long hard look. The kid wasn't lying in any way.

"What would I have to do?"

"Owe me a favor. I help a lot of people in exchange for favors to cash in later."

"...Deal."

Naru grinned his usual grin, and took Gaara to see Mochi. She had recently developed a seal for jinchuriki which gave them more control.

Konohamaru went to find Hinata and Sasuke. Like Naru, they didn't mind playing with the younger Academy students.

(Iruka would later curse that fact, because Sasuke taught the Konohamaru Squad how to use fire jutsu...which the kids used on people who annoyed them.)

* * *

Mochi took a long look at Gaara's seal...and then took out her seal kit. Her long brush danced on Gaara's stomach, tracing an intricate seal. Using some of Naru's blood, which had the strangest effect when used with this seal, she completed the circle.

"_SEAL!"_

The pain was momentary, but the effect was immediate. Gaara's eyes widened in total shock.

"The voice...it's gone! Mother's voice is gone!"

"I seriously doubt that was your mother kid. There aren't any jutsu or seals that can seal a person's personality inside another. Well, almost no seals. There is one, but it only works in extreme circumstances."

Gaara could feel his eyelids drooping dangerously. But he didn't trust Baki that much. The man was a spy for his father, sent to keep him in check.

"Mochi-nee-chan, can Gaara stay with me tonight? That way he won't have to worry about anyone trying to do something to him."

"Smart gaki. Sure, he can stay the night. Take this chance to watch how the seal reacts to Shukaku and I expect a report."

Gaara didn't mind being a test subject. For the first time in over a decade, he was able to sleep through the night.

Later Mochi told him that the only way Shukaku could come out was if Gaara _let_ him. The new seal made the demon work with his host, instead of the other way around.

Because of the fact that he wasn't technically a Konoha nin (he was officially listed as Konoha to keep Redpool more or less a secret) Gaara decided to spill the plan concerning the Chunin Exams.

Naru didn't seem surprised, or hold it against Gaara.

"What will your village do if they knew you told us?" asked Naru.

"They can go hang for all I care. They fear me and my own father has tried to kill me more than once. My own uncle tried to kill me and would have succeeded if not for my sand shield."

"Ouch. Well, if it's any consolation to you, Naru here would have been treated just as bad if I hadn't kidnapped him," said Mochi.

"How do you know that?"

"Alternate reality. One where I didn't exist. He became the village pariah and was hated until I showed up. So what do you say kid? Why don't you befriend Naru?" said Mochi easily.

"I...I would like to have a friend. One who wasn't afraid of me and my father couldn't influence."

"In that case welcome to the family kid. I'll give you the seals so you can carry a conversation with Naru here no matter where he is. Dead useful too!"

For the first time in his life, Gaara smiled and didn't scare anyone with it.

* * *

_**There will be a spin off fic to this story called Seal Mishaps. Before any of you complain that I didn't go in depth over where Mochi and Team 7 vanished off to, Seal Mishaps is the story where I explain what happened and where the seal leads to. Basically Mochi is going to completely ruin the canonverse.**_


End file.
